Out at a bar the other evening, my GBFF turns to me while he’s sexting and asks me how to spell raccoon.

My other friend then turns to me and says, “Ummm if he’s sexting, why does he need to know how to spell raccoon?!”

Thus creating the sext “Wanna stick your raccoon in my beaver later?” If your LOVER is anything like mine, the response is pretty funny. It’s become part of our banter (no lie).

thepocketmouse:

charles warnke

You Should Date An Illiterate Girl by Charles Warnke.

theclearlydope:

I just got beat by a pancake in the whoishotter.com poll. A pancake.

mememolly:

(via This Is Just A Ryan Gosling Pancake | Videogum)

“If you’re a pancake, I’m a pancake.”

Pancakes just became a little yummier. Oh, Ryan Gosling.

The man of my dreams.

“What I am to you is not real,
And what I am to you, you do not need,
And what I am to you is not what you mean to me,
You’d give me miles, and miles of mountains and I’d ask for the sea…”
- Damien Rice

And I’m terrified it is.

I adore Carey Mulligan.